Monday, November 28th

Today is the first day of helping my mom care for my dad in Clay Center.

Yesterday I was so scared to leave my house. I already started missing my kids, I had that lonely pit in my chest begin. I felt like I was shipping off to war, a battle in my near future. I had observed my mom and dad several times on visits but I knew I was going to be on the front line now, not watching from the trenches.

My bed is upstairs in "Alice's Room". My parents share their house with a lovely ghost named Alice. She makes herself known from time to time. This doesnt even bother me anymore. I told her last night we were gonna be roomies and she would have to deal with it. I said it nicely of course.

This morning I woke up at about 7 am, made coffee, and was up just in time for dad to wake up. He said he was HUNGRY!! He then asked where did Glen go? We do not know a Glen as far as I know. He said he came in the wagon and he went in and out of my dad's room all morning. I said, okay, dad, we'll figure it out. I made him eggs and toast and he ate it up happily.

Mom had me rearrange his new bedroom. It used to be my moms reading room/kids play room. This is the room my dad made a secret passage from the closet into his old tv room closet. We all like to use it occasionally..even the dogs know about it. :)
Yesterday he woke up and didnt know what house he was in and said his suitcases were in the other room. I know according to the hospice bible, when people start talking about traveling, sometimes its their way of letting others know their spiritual journey is nearing. He's talked of several dreams that were detailed with train rides, airplane rides, flying like a butterfly...how much is the morphine and how much is it his subconscious preparing himself and us for what is to come. Maybe he is sorting through which methods of travel he likes the best?

I set up the cot next to dad's hospital bed so mom can sleep in the same room with him. I need to either get a twin size air mattress or something to put on it because the mattress is probably an inch thick. She moved to sleeping downstairs either on the couch or the air mattress on the floor..neither very comfortable.

The hospice nurse, Deb, just came. She is such a sweet lady! She took dad's vitals and gave us a sample of a bath in a bag for dad. We aren't sure how to get dad in and out of the shower, even with the shower chair, with his modesty and safety. So you just microwave the pouch of shower wipes and he can wipe himself down.

I'm so glad to be here. I still have that lonely pit in my chest. I don't like being away from my kids and my friends. Well, time to put my kevlar back on and stand guard.